Well hello there

Well hello there

(Source: , via incrediblyhotguys)


Ever wish

you could go back and un-meet someone?

How different would life be? How different would you be?

I wish it too. All the time. I want a damn do-over.


Inconsistency

has always been my biggest flaw. Which probably explains the fluctuating level of activity on my tumblr. And a similar pattern across all aspects of my life. Idk I’m moody








Anxiety

feels like I am constantly running with a dark, swirling storm cloud chasing after me. I can’t slow down and I can’t pause otherwise it will swallow me whole into its mass of apprehension and fear. I have to stay busy, stay ahead. Drugs don’t solve the problem, they are only a temporary shelter.

Must keep running.


Describe your life in one word:

Lethargic.


Seriously though. No motivation or energy or drive or passion or anything whatsoever.

But I managed to get everything done.

I see a vision of myself a month or two from now, strong and confident: the person I always wanted to be.

I can do this. Must not use. Must not succumb.


This

Would be so much easier if I could just turn off all of the thoughts in my head.

I see now why they call addiction a disease. It takes over and completely controls your every thought/action/motive. You don’t have a choice.

So are we predisposed to this? Or is it a disease we bring upon ourselves. If it’s the latter, I’d like to give a huge fuck you to the “old me” of six years ago.

You got me in this mess but I’m getting me out.


Stupid

I keep feeling like I’m going to puke everything I manage to down.

I made a list of 3 productive things to get done today and it is taking every ounce of my strength to “slowly” accomplish them.

I look ugly and feel fat

Anxiety is wrapping its grubby little fingers around my throat and squeezing until I can no longer breathe. Which is giving me more anxiety.

All of the bad things I’ve ever thought/felt are replaying over and over in my head like a bad tape recording.

I keep sweating hot, sweating cold, just really uncomfortable in my own skin.

Lying down watching tv is too boring.

Moving around and being active is too much work.

Can I rewind to before I ever had a problem to begin with?


Everyone needs a little love


(Source: tumblr.com)



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